Alcohol and Coke

There were three of us on Saturday, half the squad and one we three was cricketing in far flung reaches of the county. Thinking that it might constitute a treat, I suggested to the youngest that we ordered a takeaway to coincide with the return of the cricketer and had a drink in a local pub whilst we waited. There was no enthusaistic, 'great idea, Mum, when can we go?' - although the offspring concerned was happy to record any essential tv programmes that might be missed. Rather the concern was, 'do you always have to drink wine?'

"Always?"
"Yeah, you have a glass most nights."
Well, go that woman, but it isn't me! I pointed out that I had been too busy ferrying children numbers one-four about to have drunk a glass since the preceding weekend, and for the past eighteen plus years, to be slipping down that slope just yet. It didn't wash.
"That's this week, most days you do."
Please don't forget that this charmer has passed the magic teen mark, so everything is up for debate, one that we duly had: Define most days? Do I like wine? Does a one legged duck swim in circles? Of course I do! But, sadly, it doesn't like me much. We looped the loop, crossed wires and came back to the fact that I drink the occasional can of Coke Zero and I hardly ever buy my children fizzy drinks, that's unfair and therefore you, mother, drink too much. Follow?


Recent wisdom tooth pain led to a prescription for a fairly potent antibiotic, the piece of paper waved in my face by the dentist who said, "Whatever you do, don't drink alcohol whilst you're taking this." Duly noted.

In some pain, I sat in the local chemist waiting for the prescription to be prepared; rose to my feet when my name was called and listened dutifully as the pharmacist spoke loudly and clearly: "Now, Mrs ..., you really mustn't have any alcohol at all whilst you are taking these, and for at least forty-eight hours afterwards." As I could barely open my mouth to take liquid through a straw, I simply nodded, turned round and saw about ten other customers who had all stopped in their tracks to stare down the shameless alcoholic who was clearly being warned by their local chemist! Too tired to care, I shuffled out!

Am I protesting too much? Quite possibly: at times I'd love to live a champagne-swilling lifestyle; at others I simply need to sit the thirteen year old down and explain that drinking fewer than the recommended units a week does not constitute a problem!